Unstrip Strip Poker
(Dundee, IL, USA)
(Photo from Spreadshirt)
Back in high school my friends and I were considered the school's practical jokesters. Whenever something funny happened around the school, especially when it was embarrassing for the teachers or administrators, it was no doubt engineered by our happy little group of pranksters. But, we were smart enough not to get caught, often by finding loopholes in the system.
We had what was called "Commons" as an alternative to study hall for junior and seniors who maintained a C or better average. They let us use the lunchroom to get together and chill out. We could talk, play music, and so forth. We were also allowed to play cards - Provided we didn't gamble. Any kind of gambling was strictly forbidden.
I don't remember which one of us came up with the idea first, but we ended up with a mixed group of about 10 of us. We took slips of paper and wrote down everything we were wearing - 1 item per slip. Then we started playing strip poker, tossing in the slips instead of the actual clothes.
After a few hands, one of the teachers got curious and came over to see what we were doing. I don't remember her name any more, but she had been my English teacher in my sophomore year. And we had never gotten along very well. She walks up, looks at the papers scattered on the table and asks us if we're gambling. I smiled at her and said "No ma'am, we're playing strip poker."
She gets a very shocked look on her face, reaches down and snatches up one on the slips in front of me. It was one I had just collected from one of the girls the group. It had her name on the top and "one pair pink lace bikini panties" under that. The teacher’s mouth dropped open, the paper fell out of her hand, and she stood there with her mouth open for what seemed like forever. Then she ran out of the room.
A few minutes later she comes back with the Dean of Discipline in tow. She was pointing at our table and babbling to him. I could only imagine what she had been saying. He walks up to us, looking very stern, and demanding to know what's going on. I held up a handful of slips and calmly said "we're playing strip poker."
He took the slips and started flipping through them. Then he scooped up more from the table and looked at those, glancing around the table as he did so (undoubtedly matching the slips the the player). We all sat quietly, trying our best to keep straight faces. And I could see, the dean was also trying very hard to keep a straight face. At one of the slips he paused, looked at one of my buddies, then at the slip again, and then back at my buddy. At which point my buddy blushed, shrugged and softly said "I can explain."
The dean lost it and cracked up laughing. It took him a minute or two to stop laughing. But, as he did, he handed my buddy the slip in question and turned to the teacher.
"There's no money changing hands, so you can't say they are gambling." he told her "And if they were really playing strip poker in here, then I'm sure they would be breaking some rule or another. But I can't think of any rule that says they can't play an imaginary game."
With that, he turned and walked out, leaving the teacher red-faced, very angry, and completely powerless. About then the bell rang and we collected the strips and headed off to our next classes. And, yes, most of us got together that weekend and "redeemed" the slips for the actual items.
As for the infamous slip of my buddy's, the one that cracked up the dean. Well, we had been at a party the night before, playing Truth or Dare. And the girl next to me wasn't the only one at the table that day wearing lace bikini panties. But that is another story.